Paperweight by Meg Haston

Paperweight by Meg Haston

 Release Date: July 7, 2015
Publisher: HarperTeen
Rated: YA 14+
Format: eGalley
Source: Edelweiss
Buy: Amazon ● The Book Depository
Goodreads ● Website
Seventeen-year-old Stevie is trapped. In her life. And now in an eating-disorder treatment center on the dusty outskirts of the New Mexico desert.

Life in the center is regimented and intrusive, a nightmare come true. Nurses and therapists watch Stevie at mealtime, accompany her to the bathroom, and challenge her to eat the foods she’s worked so hard to avoid.

 Her dad has signed her up for sixty days of treatment. But what no one knows is that Stevie doesn't plan to stay that long. There are only twenty-seven days until the anniversary of her brother Josh’s death—the death she caused. And if Stevie gets her way, there are only twenty-seven days until she too will end her life.

I've read quite a few books here and there about eating disorders, but I don't think I've ever read a book about someone being treated for one. Usually the book ends with the person admitting they need help and there's a bright future ahead of them (or, if the book is super dark, *bad things* happen). It was interesting to see a character in rehab for anorexia/bulimia. Paperweight reminds us that healing is not a straightforward process, and things are most definitely easier said than done.

One aspect I really liked in this book was how it got into the physical and emotional strain a process such as this can have on your body and mind, respectively. We can see how Stevie fluctuates between healing and hating; how her thoughts oscillate between positive and negative. While I wasn't too big a fan of her character, I thought it great that she was flawed. It added more to the layers of the story, making this a lot more profound to read.

As I mentioned previously, I liked how the story and Stevie's progress wasn't a straight line. It takes her a while to come to terms with her condition as well as some other problems she has with her past. I enjoyed the switch between past and present–we get to see her before and after, and see how the eating disorder culminates over time. There's a bit of a build up to the night of her brother's death, which wasn't too much of a shocker, since you know he's already dead from the start, but the details of how start to come together to piece a tragic story.

 Paperweight is a poignant portrayal of a girl healing from emotional and physical scars. Meg Haston's novel is moving and swept me away from the start with the promise of a small mystery, unlocking the past, and hope.

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Waiting on Wednesday – Week 175

Waiting on Wednesday is a weekly meme hosted by Jill at Breaking the Spine. It's to spotlight on upcoming releases that I'm DYING to get my hands on!
This week's WoW is:
For This Life Only by Stacey Kade
A young man struggles to move forward after the death of his twin brother in this gripping, coming-of-age tale about loss, redemption, love, and the moment you begin to see the world differently.

Three minutes.

 Jacob Palmer died for three life-changing minutes.

 And when he woke up, nothing was the same. Elijah, his twin brother, is dead, and his family is broken. Jace’s planned future is crushed, along with his pitching arm. Everyone keeps telling him that Eli’s in a better place, but Jace isn’t so sure. Because in those three minutes, there was nothing.

 Overwhelmed by guilt and doubt, Jace struggles to adjust to this new version of the world, one without his brother, one without the certainties he once relied on. And then Thera comes into his life.

 She’s the last girl he should be turning to for help.

 But she’s also the first person to truly see him.
August 30, 2016 ● Goodreads

 I'm sad to say that I haven't read many books that have featured a male protagonist, especially when it comes to young adult contemporary. This one sounds super amazing though. A little bit of emotion mixed with some (hopefully) cute romance definitely sounds like my cup of tea. I haven't read anything of Stacey Kade's yet, but I'm sure this one will live up to her other novels, which I've heard nothing but good things about.
What are you waiting on?
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Never Missing, Never Found by Amanda Panitch

Never Missing, Never Found by Amanda Panitch

 Release Date: June 28, 2016
Publisher: Random House Books for Young Readers
Rated: YA 14+
Format: eGalley
Source: NetGalley
Buy: Amazon ● The Book Depository
Goodreads ● Website
Some choices change everything. Scarlett chose to run. And the consequences will be deadly.

Stolen from her family as a young girl, Scarlett was lucky enough to eventually escape her captor. Now a teen, she's starting a summer job at an amusement park. There are cute boys, new friends, and the chance to finally have a normal life.

 Her first day on the job, Scarlett is shocked to discover that a girl from the park has gone missing. Old memories come rushing back. And now as she meets her new coworkers, one of the girls seems strangely familiar. When Scarlett chose to run all those years ago, what did she set into motion? And when push comes to shove, how far will she go to uncover the truth . . . before it's too late?

While there are horrible, HORRIBLE things that happen to people that I wouldn't wish on anyone, I've always been fascinated by or curious about the aftermath of traumatic events. There's something about reading a story featuring a character who has multiple levels, and things aren't always what they seem. I was intrigued by the premise for Never Missing, Never Found and was eager to understand what exactly was going on with Scarlett on a psychological level, because being kidnapped would definitely change a person. I was absolutely blown away by this novel. Holy hells–it was so good.

 While I liked that Scarlett had this confident, go-getter attitude, I was a little taken aback by her brash(ish) nature. I mean, it was good to see such a strong female character, but she was kind of mean to some of the other characters. Justified in almost all ways, but totally not how I would act in certain situations. But...ding! ding! ding! this was the psychological aspect I was looking forward to in a novel such as this one. I loved Connor's character, and I found Katharina and Melody's characters super interesting. However, I felt like I was missing out on a lot to do with the secondary characters. I'm sad that there wasn't too much development for them, but thankfully, it didn't take away from the shock of the reveal.

 THAT REVEAL.

 Oh.
My.
God.

 If you know me, you'll know that I have this sort of adamant nature of trying to figure out the mystery before the end. Something about them makes me go on high-alert while I'm reading, and then I tend to pick up all sorts of little details that lead me to guess (usually correctly) the ending of the story. But nuh-uh. Not with this book. I was so BLINDED. I had no idea that was coming my way. Holy shizzlesticks. I literally had to pull away from reading because the shock was along the lines of WHAT-HOW-DID-I-NOT-SEE-THIS-BEFORE-HOLY-MOTHE– (and you get the rest). But yeah, I was totally caught with the twist in this one, and while I thought the follow-through was less on par with the reveal, it still haunts me days after I finished reading this book.

 With an absolutely mind-blowing and jaw-dropping twist, Never Missing, Never Found was a fantastic psychological mystery that sucked me in from the very first page. Alternating between horrific flashbacks of a girl's capture and an eerie present-day mystery, Amanda Panitch's sophomore novel unfolds a story unlike any other. Nail-biting and heart-pounding until the end, it's bound to have you on the edge of your seat.
▪ ▪ ▪ Thank you so much to Aisha at Random House Children's Books for sending me an eGalley for review! ▪ ▪ ▪ 

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Symptoms of Being Human by Jeff Garvin

Symptoms of Being Human by Jeff Garvin

 Release Date: February 2, 2016
Publisher: Balzer + Bray
Rated: YA 14+
Format: eGalley
Source: Edelweiss
Buy: Amazon ● The Book Depository
Goodreads ● Website
The first thing you’re going to want to know about me is: Am I a boy, or am I a girl?

Riley Cavanaugh is many things: Punk rock. Snarky. Rebellious. And gender fluid. Some days Riley identifies as a boy, and others as a girl. The thing is…Riley isn’t exactly out yet. And between starting a new school and having a congressman father running for reelection in uber-conservative Orange County, the pressure—media and otherwise—is building up in Riley’s so-called “normal” life.

 On the advice of a therapist, Riley starts an anonymous blog to vent those pent-up feelings and tell the truth of what it’s REALLY like to be a gender fluid teenager. But just as Riley’s starting to settle in at school—even developing feelings for a mysterious outcast—the blog goes viral, and an unnamed commenter discovers Riley’s real identity, threatening exposure. Riley must make a choice: walk away from what the blog has created—a lifeline, new friends, a cause to believe in—or stand up, come out, and risk everything.

I was taken by the simple yet gorgeous cover for Symptoms of Being Human, and my sister was too, which is why she decided that I should read this one. It's been shamefully on my kindle for a while now, and it was about time that I dug into this one. My reading recently has been dealing with a bunch of "firsts" and it's true for Symptoms of Being Human as well: I've never read a book about someone who is gender fluid. Regardless, I knew that this one was going to be a powerful read, and an emotional one too.

 I never knew what being gender fluid actually meant–not a really clear idea at least–until I read Garvin's debut, and it's definitely interesting to see how the protagonist explains it to various characters in the novel. I liked the fact that the author actually doesn't state Riley's biological gender, which made reading this so much more genuine, and really presented our protagonist the way they wanted to be presented to the world.

The bullying was absolutely terrifying. It's terrible that there are people who have to go through this day by day. Towards the end there was a definite Boys Don't Cry moment, which was both heart-pounding and extremely sad to read about. I like that Riley did have support from people, and that there was some hope amongst the ugly, disgusting behaviour from some other characters.

 Riley's blog voice is absolutely hilarious. Hilarious and powerful, that is. I loved the ranty nature of the blog posts, but there were clearly important issues being brought up that I hadn't much knowledge of prior to reading this novel. But I like how it truly captured the essence of blogging as well, how there are other people out there who can understand what you're going through, and who have had similar experiences and are just trying to get help and support as well.

This was a difficult review to write, but hopefully you can see how strong and inspiring this book is. A story about finding yourself, opening up and inspiring others, Garvin's Symptoms of Being Human was stunning and poignant–truly a book that needs to be read by everyone.

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